Friday, May 4

A quick thought about my birth family.

They seem to know me well enough to know, that even I don't know me very well.

Adoption hasn't been a painful or sad thing, or an emotional issue in need of "closure"; though I have had a restless curiosity inside, driven by the desire to look into someone's eyes and see myself; or the living roots of myself.

I hope to meet most of the family next week, live and in person in Saginaw, MI. I have never looked so forward to a hug in my life. I've always wanted to hug my mom - for her more than me - so she knows I am nothing but happy to have found her. I can only imagine the guilt she likely feels, I feel guilty not seeing my girls for weeks and months. I want her to know that she can relax now, I'm happy to be coming home.

Thanks to those friends who have written me (posted comments & such) I don't really mean to ignore you - I'm just not me lately and life is full of hurdles right now. I'm usually quiet while battling demons.

Love & Peace
Kurt