Condi Rice Rocks (Hear me out)

I can't say I ever wanna hear anything Condi Rice has to say regarding political policies or issues - but what a person. Enjoyed hearing her speak tonight at the RNC - love her biography - beautiful American story no matter what side of the political fence we all sit.

By the way - what a heart wrenching story of poverty last night when Ann Romney gave her speech and shared with us how she and Mitt had to sell some of (not all - but still) their stocks just to pay bills while in college. Can you imagine? I actually had a similar story - I once had to sell some of my socks just to pay bills while I was attending an online university, racking up student loan debt that I still haven't finished paying, 6 years later. But I am able to afford new socks now. So at least my feet know what it's like to live like a Romney. I also give 10% of my socks to Goodwill and call it Tithes. Change 3 letters in my adopted last name and I'm virtually a Romney already.

This just in...

Too funny, did you just see Paul Ryan's wife introduce him for his convention speech? Sure she looked nervous as she should - I used to performed in front of thousands playing the snare drum - but I was well practiced and there by choice. Didn't she look just a tad bit scared - a deeper scared than just being on that stage? It's like she realizes that her husband and his party are really bad for women. She's always known how scary his positions are and she's smart - so it's not escaping her that people see her and wonder how in the world can she, an intelligent lawyer (I know) be married to a man who co-signed a bill that would narrow the definition of rape - because apparently some rape just really isn't that bad. He actually considers rape just another form of conception.

To paraphrase from Talking Liberally: The Stephanie Miller Show on radio and Current TV - Stephanie said something similar to 'if these Republican men could get pregnant - there would be abortion clinics on every corner'. How true - and just imagine how eager they would be to make abortion exceptions for rape if that stint they did in county lockup led to an unwanted pregnancy. But wait - if a man is raped and never gets pregnant - that proves what Republican Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri said, it must be legitimate rape and the man's body just shut that whole thing down.

This is why the right thinks homosexuality is wrong - if no one never gets pregnant having homosexual sex, apparently none of the sex is consensual - it's all just gay rape and the human body knows it needs to shut that whole thing down. I know - that last part was just a bunch of silliness, but at least I am kidding and know better (and I'm not a sitting member of the Committee on Science in Congress). 

"I Wrote That"

Kurt's 2 Sense
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Open your mind and question things.

Forget what you think for a moment - open your mind and give this a read. They are just words - they won't hurt you.

I'm watching the RNC coverage and just can't believe an entire party continues to repeat and cheer absolute lies. The first one being that Obama is removing the work requirement from Welfare. Total bullshit to anyone who can read and understand basic logic (and I'm happy to cite and show proof to anyone interested - which is something they can't offer you because they're lying).

Secondly, the President "stealing" 716 billion from Medicare. First of all - steal? - is that because he's a black President and all black people steal? The laughable part of this lie is that the 716 billion is taken from the payee side - agreed to by the hospitals and insurance companies in an effort to reduce fraud, abuse and waste on the billing side. Isn't that the freakin' goal - REDUCING COSTS WITHOUT REDUCING BENEFITS? Ryan on the other hand - "steals" 724 billion from the PATIENT and CARE side of Medicare to pay for tax cuts. Tax cuts for the middle class who need it the most you ask? Nope - for the rich. For himself. For Romney.

The 3rd lie is a good one - it's a group of phrases that republicans use to explain why jobs aren't being created. The mantra goes something like, "we need to put certainty into the tax code, reduce taxes for the job creators, and get government regulations off of the backs of small business." First of all - the tax code has existed in some form for all of our lives and business has always found a way to function. Is GE not hiring because they somehow need to pay less than ZERO PERCENT in taxes? Secondly - reduce taxes on the Job Creators? I am a job creator. What makes me hire people or not hire people? DEMAND If people want what I am making and I can't make it fast enough - I hire people. The kicker is the fact that while the economy seems bad - the stock market is at a 4 year high. Many companies including my own are making record profits. But - because we've had to find ways to be more efficient and cost effective - many companies have found ways to stay small and not rehire as many people. The problem with this greedy tactic of maximize profits is that unemployment will stay high and the customer base that feeds those profits will shrink. Finally, the next time you hear "we need to get the Obama regulations off of the backs of small businesses" - simply ask them, "What regulations are you speaking of?" They won't have an answer - because tax cuts are about the only thing Obama has done to small business. Don't accept "ObamaCare" for an answer because nothing in that bill has in any way been negative or costly to small businesses. I can prove that and they cannot prove the contrary.

Lie No. 4 - This whole "we built it" crap would be laughable if it weren't so sad - on many levels. First of all - I was watching the speech and know what the President actually said. Anyone with basic logic skills and read or viewed the speech knows he was speaking of the infrastructure (i.e. roads, laws, internet, educational systems etc.). So the republicans are either dishonest, or stupid. Making it even more embarrassing for them is the fact that they are surrounded by the very proof of what the President was saying. Read this article that includes the text from the speech and see if you think it's been fairly characterized.

The convention itself used the following government funds:

City of Tampa: 3M for upgrades and improvements to the area for the convention

Convention Center: 86M of construction paid by Government funds

The RNC Convention itself: 68M in Presidential Election Campaign funds and Congressional Security Grants

Total = 157 Million Dollars.

Not to mention - how did all of these convention goers arrive in Tampa? The only way they did that themselves was if they walked through fields and waded across streams on foot. Otherwise they used the infrastructure the President was speaking of. So the signs all over the convention that say "We Built It" should be amended to say "We built it with a shitload of government money!" Why didn't Romney pay for it out of his pocket - since he is anti-government spending and he uses every tax shelter available to avoid paying into the very kitty that IS paying for the convention.

The really sad part is that the Party they are cheering for has decided that they are such a stupid group of people - that they said, "Hey, they're so stupid that we can just lie to them over and over and they'll never call us out. They're too dumb to actually go look and see if what we are saying is even true." See, if I hear that our President, whether I voted for him or not, has just said something so ignorant - I'm gonna check it out to make sure it's true. I did vote for this President and I did build a small business - so had I not actually seen the speech live on TV, I certainly would have looked it up to see if it was true because I would have to think twice before voting for him again.

But hey - if it sounds fair that working folks should pay taxes while Big Oil companies make record profits and literally pay ZERO in taxes - or if it sounds fair that Romney should be able  to get a $77,000 tax deduction for a fucking Dressage Horse while I struggle to figure out how to make sure my children have medical coverage (I'm pretty sure that 77,000 tax break would have taken care of at least a few children) - if that sounds fair then let's elect Romney. I have no problem with the rich - I will be rich someday - but I will never reach a mindset that says we should tax income that is worked for (in some cases very difficult, gritty, honorable work) at a higher rate than income that is earned by doing absolutely nothing.

Also sad is to hear that a group of politicians decided to intentionally derail my country and it's great democracy because it lost, and didn't like someone. A group of self-interested Republicans decided that for 4 years, they would ignore the American people's democratic election of a President. They would literally vote against the very ideas that they gave birth to, rather than allow the people's President to have success. If you give this enough thought, you'll likely realize that Mitch McConnell and the rest are nearly guilty of treason.

And finally - rape. Do I really need to say more?

So everyone please - just question what you hear. Flip the channel - look up facts from reliable, non-partisan sources. I'm not even convinced either candidate is the right choice - but I do like to be armed with the truth and facts before I come to that decision.

~~~

With a chest that feels lighter already - goodnight all.

Kurt
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She's all grown up now...

My oldest daughter Madison graduated this past June and it was incredible. Tracey was with me, and my Mom came up from Florida - it was a pretty good day. Madison is extraordinary in so many ways and I was so proud watching her receive her diploma. I smiled and cried and selfishly hoped I had something to do with her becoming such an exceptional young woman.

I wrote the following about Madi (all of her friends call her Madi) for a school project she was doing right before she graduated:

As a new father, I thought I should prepare for the worst. After all, I was well traveled and had seen quite a bit, heard plenty of parenthood stories, and took a good look at my own childhood and just knew I had to brace myself for what was to come. I shouldn't have worried so much. Madison was my first child and never what I expected. She was happy. Madison arrived smiling and seemed to have no complaints about what she found when she got here. Everything seemed to come natural to her and this didn't change when it was time to start her adventure in education.

Madison didn't seem nervous that very first day, at least not as nervous as I was, she acted as if she somehow knew it was what she was supposed to do next. So off she went. She didn't struggle to fit in or have the burden of being the most popular, she just had this natural quality of belonging. I was always proud to point out she was my daughter, always pleasant and polite with a smile on her face. She would leave effortlessly in the morning for school and come home to little sisters who adored her. She was the perfect role model for them, giving them the sense that they had nothing to worry about, good things were to come.

Family life was far from perfect, almost tragic at times, but Madison once again seemed to already know how to handle that too. When her sisters needed her, she knew what to do. She was caring and loving and filled the holes left by others. She was the playroom teacher, giving lessons to her sisters who needed to learn things if they were to survive a life full of unexpected turns. All the while, not losing herself and continuing to grow as this unique person we see today.

As Madison made her way though middle school and headed towards high school, she was able to let her sisters begin to find themselves as individuals and focus on the wonders of being a teenager and find out what kind of young woman she would become. Once again, I braced myself. I was the father of a "teenage" daughter now. Certainly this would not be easy. Madison made sure I was wrong again. She just has this way of realizing what is truly important, to her as the daughter, and to me as the father. With very few lectures or lessons learned the hard way, we managed to navigate these years successfully. I still have the pleasure of being the proud father who gets to point out that she's my daughter, always pleasant and polite with a smile on her face.

I've told Madison many times that I am jealous of her. Jealous of the rare quality she has to be comfortable with who she is and to never be afraid of new experiences, always feeling free to go after what it is she wants. It's an inner spirit or quality that's not necessarily taught, but can often be distinguished or discouraged in a person. Raising Madison and watching her mature over the last twelve years has been more about staying out of the way and allowing her to become who she is, than steering her and molding her into someone I thought she would be. I couldn't be happier with the results, or more excited about what she has to offer.

Proud Father

I Love Tracey

I really want to write a song or poem - something special just for her. Maybe I'll simply make a list of all that is amazing about Tracey.

I'm just not sure yet... so until then... right here in front of the entire world...
"I Love You Tracey"

Kid Thoughts

My kids are amazing. They’re so resilient with big, forgiving hearts. I don’t want to break them trying to fix them. I don’t want to harm them in an effort to protect them. I want them to be happy. I can’t yet provide everything their hearts desire but I can certainly try and make sure that no matter what they face in life, they have a father that will always love them, never give up on them, and will always encourage them. They make me stronger though I remain very weak. Inside, my imaginings are of a future full of plans that will change my life, my children’s lives, and even lives around the world. I don’t yet have the strength or confidence in myself to reveal these thoughts and dreams and begin these changes, but on some days - every now and then - I feel that strength and become aware that it’s possible. That awareness prevents my surrender.

Don't surrender.
KW

I justed wanted to know...

This song sums up my approach to finding my mom. I felt like I was given a chance for whatever reason - and now it was time to go back and make sure she has chances too.
So-

Mom and I listened to this together...

Are You Alright?

- Lucinda Williams

Are you all right?
All of a sudden you went away.
Are you all right?
I hope you come back around someday.
Are you all right?
I haven't seen you in a real long time.
Are you all right?
Could you give me some kind of sign?
Are you all right?
I looked around me and you were gone.
Are you all right?
I feel like there must be something wrong.
Are you all right?
Cause it seems like you disappeared.
Are you all right?
Cause I've been feeling a little scared.
Are you all right?

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug & kiss you?
Hug & kiss you
Hug & kiss you
Are you all right?

Are you all right?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you all right?
I wish you'd give me a little clue.
Are you all right?
Is there something you want to say?
Are you all right?
Just tell me that you're OK.
Are you all right?
Cause you took off without a word.
Are you all right?
You flew away like a little bird.
Are you all right?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you all right?
Cause I need to hear from you.
Are you all right?

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug & kiss you?
Hug & kiss you
Hug & kiss you

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

... and we cried.

-kw

I love to hear her laugh.

This is me and mom. The cool building is in the middle of town and mom had this message up for me all weekend. Just too cool for words. She'll probably not appreciate these pictures here, but I haven't given her a bit of trouble for 39 years. So check us out everyone. This is my mom, and yes I shaved before I left her house. I think we look a little nervous.

I just got off of the phone with my birth mother. My mom. I love talking to her. She makes me laugh - and I get to hear her laugh. What a sound. She loves basketball, like me - so we sort of "watched the game together" this evening. I called her at the beginning to find out where she was sitting. "...at the corner of the couch", she tells me. I just left the corner of her couch Wednesday night, so I was able to create a perfect image of her sitting there. We talked through the first couple minutes of the game, this gave me a chance to get my head full of her voice, till the next time we talked. She wanted me to call her when the game ended - now that is just too damn cool.

Though I think her asking me to call at the end was just a test. I've been jokingly telling her all week that tonight would be our first fight, cause she's a Pistons fan and I really dig the Cavs. So the Pistons win and it's time to call her back - as a loser. I then realize, ahhh, she is testing me to see if I will call her when I'm upset, and still sound like I love her (or if my team wins) she is testing me to see if I will call and gloat, trying to make her feel bad. (this paragraph should read playfully and cartoonish, like the unveiling of the master mind's plot by the lovable hero)

I dialed my mom's number as I sat disappointed. My team lost. My star was probably the reason. LeBron is young and apparently has an underdeveloped attention span. My sister is loving this, she thinks LeBron is cocky. Tonight she may be right. The phone was ringing now and as I sat awaiting my mother's voice, the disappointment was completely dismissed by that anxious, often awkward, teenage anticipation I suffer right before I begin talking to her. Talking to my mom. (Now I know, that you know, to whom it was that I was referring, but you'll have to forgive me for indulging in such a delight. I never imagined I would be able to address two women as "mom" and feel completely good about it, it's beyond good - it is honest and comfortable. I hope I can always make both of my mothers feel loved in a way that let's them know they are both "my mom".)

NEW PARAGRAPH (with less sap)
PHONE CALL:
She answered and I smiled.
I conceded victory.
She laughed and I smiled.
I caught her sneaking into bed while we're talking. (my hearing rocks)
She laughed and I smiled some more.
We talked about an hour.
Without a keen sense of responsibility on my part, we would likely be on the phone right now. I would really like that. I can write this stuff anytime, the more I talk to her, the more memories I'll have to write about some other day. However, I keep mom up past her bedtime almost every night and she needs to be alert at work. So after soaking up a few more of her words and one last giggle, we hung up. You got it - I was still smiling.

I miss her. I miss my sisters J & T and Lil' N. I worry about my sister D, missing her as she goes thru some ruff stuff. I miss all of my sisters' kids (my 10 nieces and 1 nephew - you know that's messed up - c'mon - just 1 dude? - I smell a conspiracy - which I must be a part of because I had all girls as well). I miss all of the wonderful friends and family I met in Saginaw.

ATTENTION COUSIN M:
I heard you might be snoopin' around the net lookin' for my criminal record and figured you might stumble across this posting - so "Hi" - and I miss you too. Since you're here, could you call your Aunt Linda and read some of this to her. (the first 3 paragraphs to be more specific) She needs to believe this is all real and that I want to be a permanent part of her life. I can use all of the reinforcements I can muster - she needs to be enjoying these moments and not worrying her way right by them. I'll feel guilty enjoying this all by myself. Thanks - and thanks for coming to Ali's party, you were the one who made me feel comfortable. You just seem to have that gift of being able to help a person fit in. You had me ready to tell a bunch of "way-back" stories until I remembered we didn't go way back. (I wipe my brow at avoiding an embarrassing moment)
Aunt Sharon was awesome as well. She's a great hugger. Hug her for me next chance you get. You'll thank me for that one. Mom is a really great hugger too. I just don't want you hugging her a bunch and wearing her out, I've got a lot of catch-up hugs coming.

I miss my sister J a lot. I didn't get to spend the time I needed with her, but I can't be sad, because she brought me two truly special moments.
She took me to my grandmother's house. The house my father grew up in. Dad's are a sensitive subject with me; I wrestled with doubt as to whether I was prepared for this leg of the trip. I was surprised in more ways than one at the affect being there was having on me. I'm still only certain of one thing; I loved it. I sat in a chair my dad spent long hours in, my sister in the room crying with me, and Tracey knowing me well enough to capture my grandmother telling me about my father and his talents on video and the whole experience in pictures that are meaningful to me. My grandmother, wow, just so much life and spirit in this small, sweet lady; so impeccably dressed and warmly gracious. She was so welcoming that I was even able to overcome a crippling fear when I saw that this house was carpeted, nearly every square foot of it, in a pearly white color that looked like you could create a stain by merely glancing down at it. I just knew I was gonna have something on my shoe.

Now if you listened to my grandmother that day, my dad was there. In the room with us. He died many years ago making my grandmother's assertion of his presence very unlikely. Oh, and at this point, there was definitely no visual evidence. I did however choose to listen to my grandmother that day. Why not? I am crazy, but that isn't even relevent here. What if he was there? If he was there, what a kick in the pants it would be if I were to miss his visit because I chose to not believe in a mere possibility, or because I was afraid of being called crazy by someone who disagreed with me. What is the downside to considering it - until proven otherwise you are just as right as any who would disagree with you. I don't know how we exist or why, and certainly not what happens after we've lived, but I do know it is okay to consider all of the possibilities; especially ones that make you smile.

So you ask me - "was he there?" All of my heart wants to believe he was. Until I get proof that he wasn't, I felt something that day and smile when I imagine it was my dad. I hope he smiled when he saw how happy I was listening to his mother's stories about him. I hope he has found peace, and is free from all of the pain.

The other big moment for me with J was taking her and Ali to dinner. I was too caught up in the experience to get a good sense of how J felt about it, but I was full of contentment at that moment. Forget the dinners I missed with my sister growing up, I have all those memories of eating dinners with my other sister D growing up, and now I have all of these dinners in the future with J, growing old together. I felt proud to be eating as a big brother for a change, enjoying the company of my little sister and niece and Tracey for a meal on me. (and Tony)
J and I have a special connection. We had talked for hours and hours before meeting. She and I are a rare find in an adoption story. A brother and sister from the same mother and father. We will spend a lot of time together in the future so I can get past the disappointment from not having enough time for all I had hoped to do.

I got to speak to J on the phone today also. She sounded good. I love her voice. It was really nice to talk to her, then spend time with Tracey, and then mom on the phone. It was good talking to my girls too, though they had a horrible day which is another post on another day.

I try to never actively worry about things I can't constructively work on or fix. We are forced to deal with so much in a day, take these worry free moments to breath. Remind yourself it's not always this difficult. I get in bed when I am tired and let it all go. I certainly can't affect the day's outcome from my bed - except for to relax, get some sleep and wake up feeling restful and ready for what the day brings.

So I close my eyes and smile these days at what I've discovered. This family tree that's so full of life and character, sad stories and all of the everyday worries. Laughter and love fill the leaves of this tree that is now my shade on a hot summer day; cause it's a family tree that includes me.
(( that last line was served up with extra cheese ya'll ))

The experience of meeting this family of mine exceeded expectations, likely for all of us, and who could ask for more than that.

I could and probably will write much more. For now I'll just be happy. I've got to stop writing while I think I can.

COMMERCIAL:
If you feel like laughing or looking at beautiful artwork, Tracey and I are now designing gifts and apparel. Our latest designs can be seen and purchased at StareAtMe.com. Buy lots cause my Christmas shopping list just gained weight. I know, it's the thought that counts. Well thoughts may count but they aren't much fun to play with. (said the boy to all of his thoughtful friends at his birthday party)

I'm back.
Take care and try to be nice to every one you engage today. Not fake or overdone; just polite, courteous, and considerate at the least. Especially while driving. Let me know how it felt if ya want to. See if you notice how many people around you aren't doing this, and how life would be different if everybody tried a little harder. Just say thanks and smile at the clerk next time you shop. See what happens.

The thoughts above are no longer a secret.
Love Kurt
- who is apparently not much of a secret either. Thanks mom - for the sign in downtown Saginaw. That's a special I've never felt before.

A quick thought about my birth family.

They seem to know me well enough to know, that even I don't know me very well.

Adoption hasn't been a painful or sad thing, or an emotional issue in need of "closure"; though I have had a restless curiosity inside, driven by the desire to look into someone's eyes and see myself; or the living roots of myself.

I hope to meet most of the family next week, live and in person in Saginaw, MI. I have never looked so forward to a hug in my life. I've always wanted to hug my mom - for her more than me - so she knows I am nothing but happy to have found her. I can only imagine the guilt she likely feels, I feel guilty not seeing my girls for weeks and months. I want her to know that she can relax now, I'm happy to be coming home.

Thanks to those friends who have written me (posted comments & such) I don't really mean to ignore you - I'm just not me lately and life is full of hurdles right now. I'm usually quiet while battling demons.

Love & Peace
Kurt

Successfully Unsuccessful

I have always insisted that success will never change me. Whether I become a rock star or a Nobel Prize winning author, I will not allow myself to become polluted and unrecognizable to all who have known me.

The problem lies with the fact that success typically requires hard work (or in some cases - working hard) and dedication; often even sacrifice. I am mellow-yellow personified. I can have focus and drive - but with limits. I would have to change who I am BEFORE I ever get the chance to become someone who I am not.

So what remains. A small handful of opportunities that hinge on a huge amount of imagination and an even larger amount of luck. It seems silly at first - aiming at the smallest targets and crossing fingers for success; however I am harnessing all of the energy that a successful person expends in their 14 to 18 hour day and magnifying it. Rather than droning through the day using much of my intellect on schedules and interoffice drama, I focus all of it on one idea - topic - or project. Six to eight hours a day, four or five days a week, throwing all of my energy into a singular subject for maximum imagination + creativity + productivity.

Not willing to become someone I am not, I continue to use imagination and life experience to become successful with who I am. I do my best work after midnight, I feel balanced when I go to sleep when the sun comes up, and all but require Sundays and Mondays be responsibility free. I'm taking the time in the evenings to fix dinner and then help my kids with homework instead of flying to [insert major metropolis here] twice a week for meetings or being in traffic till the kids are nearly in bed. I'm taking an hour at night to bowl in the living room with my family on the Nintendo Wii rather than staying late at the office.

I am of the belief that the hard worker pleases others, while the smart worker pleases others AND himself. It is this belief that is the basis for my belief that when you can no longer derive pleasure from a task or it's result; it is then that you should recognize that you are not on a road that intersects with success.

Imaginatively,
KW

oh yeah...
I really want to be telling the story of my recent reunion with my biological family, but I have to get some of this mental clutter out of the way before I can find the words.

Colliding Currents

Hatteras Island Disconnect Virginia Beach in the summer is full of traffic and tourism; local surf and turf invaded by binoculars and bad bathing suits. Relatives from the Midwest would comment on how lucky we were to live so close to the beach, right before they would make reservations to stay in our home for a week in August. If it was luck that I lived close to the shore, the luck became far less apparent to me as I gave up my bedroom to Aunts and Uncles, cousins and old family friends each summer. A week of seeing the same overpriced attractions and turning their milky white Michigan complexions to a painful pink was considered pleasure in paradise to the camera wielding home invaders. They would finally stop coming and going in late August and I would migrate from the crumb filled couch back to my bedroom. The washing machine would rumble for the next 3 days trying to rid my linens of the oily aroma of Coppertone SPF30. I live in Virginia Beach, but it really belongs to those who suffer the landlocked blues for nine months and then come here seeking the salty sea air to clear their sinuses of the acid rain reality of a Midwestern existence.

I’m not really much different I suppose. Hatteras Island always provided me with that escape and solitude, with 50 miles of beach stretching from Oregon Inlet in the north to Hatteras Inlet in the south. Beautifully undeveloped land, 85 percent of this slender barrier island is unadulterated federal property full of rugged dunes, wide beaches and a brackish sound of wetlands; forever protected from development by Cape Hatteras National Seashore and Pea Island National Wildlife Refuge. There really wasn’t anyone to call for reservations and I never forced an otherwise comfortable bedroom dweller to the uneasy slumber of the family room couch. Mother Nature always had plenty of room on her earthen beds, arranged under a southern sky, softened by sand that was freshly spread by an intoxicating Outer Banks breeze.

My father introduced me to Hatteras Island in the late seventies. The first excursion was full of discovery. We traveled the weaving, sand dusted narrow road through the wildlife refuge in our battered and rusty 1969 Jeepster Commando and scaled the winding stairs of the storied lighthouse. I ran frantically from the pursuing foamy wake that seemed a willing participant in a child’s game of wet feet and sand filled toes. I built royal castles of sand while my father cast his homemade “Hatteras Heaver” over the breaking waves of the Atlantic, hoping to wrestle another bluefish onto the beach. The beach where I would sleep at night, exhausted from the relentless pursuit of the tide. Most fascinating to me about that first adventure to the island was something my father had shown me, the actual point of land which juts into the Atlantic at Cape Hatteras, known locally as Cape Point. We stood there together and spoke of the two currents that come together there: the Labrador Current, which flows north to south, and the mighty Gulf Stream, which runs south to north. My eyes followed his huge arm to the tip of his index finger and watched as he explained that the two currents collide just a few miles off Cape Point at the Diamond Shoals. The currents will sometimes form a gentle mix; but sometimes they come together with such force that they throw fish and shells far into the air, sink ships, and flood the land.

It is 30 years later, and I can’t be sure if I really saw it, but my memory fills my mind's eye with a picture of two waves charging at one another. I stood in total awe beneath my father’s outstretched arm, and watched as the waves crashed into each other, spewing salty foam high into the air. It seemed so vivid at the time that it never really escaped me. I would return to Hatteras Island countless times with family and friends, taking in more and more of what nature had to offer, but those two colliding waves always created the backdrop for everything I saw. I fished with my father and vacationed with relatives; even took a stab at becoming the next local surfer that people crowded the beaches to watch. I rarely caught a fish and was never really comfortable looking in at the beach as I rushed in on a rolling wave. Fishing and surfing were simply reasons to put myself on that sandy point, standing under a father’s arm, anxiously awaiting the next confrontation of the currents.

I was young then and have never again heard anyone tell the story of the colliding currents. I thought I needed those “excuses” to be there, in case it was my imagination that spewed the salty foam above my head. I’m older now and know better. I don’t know that what I saw was real, but I do know that it’s possible.

Hurricane Isabel came ashore little more than a month ago, September 18, 2003. Like many others, I was prepared. My family braced for the worst and wondered how our lives might be different after she was gone. For many, things were different, and for a time I felt very lucky as we didn’t lose power, didn’t have debris strewn about our yard, and none of our loved ones were injured or taken from us. I felt unaffected by such a huge and dangerous storm. But as the news of devastation up and down the east coast started to emerge, I realized I may have been affected after all. Hurricane Isabel ripped through Hatteras Village and opened a 1700-foot gap between Hatteras Village and Frisco. On October 24th, the local newspaper displayed a view of Hatteras Island on the front page that was difficult to look at. The beautiful land that provided me with a lifelong memory of escape and solitude had been ripped to pieces by a devastating storm surge. I went on to read the article that accompanied the photo and realized I probably shouldn’t panic. In just one week of dredging, about half of what was lost had already been replaced. By mid-November, engineers expect the inlet to be filled with sand again, and the state will then begin rebuilding the washed-out road that provided access to the southern tip of the island. But I realized I shouldn’t panic because I can always just close my eyes and I’m once again a small boy on the tip of a sandy beach, watching from beneath my father’s outstretched arm as the currents collide before me.

Road to Hatteras Island;

Congress OKs $87 billion

"The Senate joined the House in passing legislation Friday to grant President Bush's request for $87 billion for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan... Differing versions set up House-Senate showdown over whether aid to Iraq should be loan or grant."

The so-called "showdown" should be a debate about whether we should charge minimal interest or really sock-it to 'em.

Assuming we absolutely have to spend this money in Iraq, shouldn't we at least incorporate a little common sense? I get furious watching our government as it considers paying $9 million for the creation of zip codes in Iraq. Have you heard about this? Could it possibly cost $9 million to set up a zip code system? I'm unemployed. Please give me this job. I will do it for half of that and still donate a million to my favorite charity and send all five of my kids to college.

Does anyone see this as anything less than absurd? It's as absurd as spending $33 million on a promotional campaign to educate people on how to use the new $20 bill, urging people to take the new money seriously. I think the assumption that it will take millions of dollars to keep the general public capable of spending a $20 bill because it went through a few color changes and enhancements is both offensive and irresponsible.

Kurtis D. Reiner
Absolutely No Political Party Affiliation

"What if?"

While little more than 1 in 5 Vice Presidents ever “acted as President” during their term, it would seem that today’s terror climate compels us to do the unbearable…

We must explore a couple of “what if” questions.

A deep intellectual process or a statistical, scientific method is rarely necessary; I’m typically able to zero in on a contender for President with relative ease. My Presidential candidate, in most elections, is the candidate I view as the least likely to affect me, in a negative, personal, familial manner. Massive media coverage on several candidates provides me the information I need to make a selection; though coverage of less familiar candidates with less money but great ideas really must start getting more media time. It sounds selfish; but resounding through my ears is a man’s voice (my father), “You better vote, it’s your right!” Forget the fact that because it’s my right, “you better vote” is an instruction that lacks any forethought or common sense. Voting for a candidate that you honestly do not want as your President is wrong.

The first “what if”
Will you be able to live with yourself the day a tragedy strikes, possibly caused by a President that you cast a vote for, against your own, rightful wishes? What if it were spun in your head in such a way that you ultimately blamed yourself; because you cast your ballot? If we need to add the “none of the above” option to the ballot to counter the “you must participate to make a difference” argument, then let us make it so. People that insist you are of lesser character for not voting, are people who simply want you to share their vision of America, without fully and fairly considering yours. I’m not suggesting we stop voting, only that we stop voting for candidates we don’t agree with. Can it really be, that for the most part, the entire country is expected to consist of only two visions of what this country is to become? Is it reasonable to expect everyone to betray many of their own beliefs and opinions, because they contradict the two available political choices? I just can’t believe America should consist solely of a right and a left. Your vote must be earned. Honestly and deservingly by a candidate, who we must remember, is never harmed by your vote; though with it, can certainly bring you harm.

The first “what if?” was necessary because I didn’t want to incite the masses to rise up and begin voting in numbers like we’ve never witnessed; until I at least made a small attempt to heighten the sense of responsibility and pure ownership these masses have of their vote.

The second “what if”

What if the homeland just isn’t secure enough and terrorists are able to force us into a circumstance that requires the Vice President to be the “acting President of the United States”? Would the planes still have managed to penetrate the towers of New York City on September 11th if George W. Bush had been inside one of them delivering a speech that day? While many may disagree with me, something tells me it was very possible. Maybe not today, but on September 11th, 2001, America possessed a sort of naiveté that left everyone vulnerable. Isn’t the very existence of the color coded threat level system evidence enough to know that stating, “Only 9 of the first 46 Vice Presidents ever had to act as President”, is to pretend that we don’t face far greater dangers than that of our forefathers. Terrorists, as well as other threats to our security and freedom, have become variables that force us to consider possibilities that historical data can’t always provide.

With these possibilities in mind, consider what you know about Vice Presidential candidates for the 2004 election. The closest thing to fact that I can offer is that if George remains in office, we probably keep Dick. Beyond Dick, I can only offer speculation. The CNN’s and MSNBC’s will occasionally ask those Presidential candidates who are dropping out of the race or have extremely low poll numbers, “Would you accept an offer to be the running-mate of another candidate?”. From this occasional query we’ve been able to establish just one thing as a certainty, that everyone is non-committal. Even as a pre-candidate, General Wesley Clark would only insist that his focus for now was solely on his decision to run for President. He never insisted he would not consider a running-mate offer in the event he didn’t survive a Presidential race.

We have absolutely no information regarding any Vice Presidential candidate we will potentially put in the alternate seat of our government. We are faced with the increased potential of our Vice President becoming our President prematurely, yet the question is never asked; “Mr. Candidate, with whom will you be entrusting the security and future of America, in the event some unthinkable circumstance renders you unable to perform your duties?” I appeal to the media to simply pose the question and attempt to cover another element of the Presidential election. I am not attempting to imply that this is a topic of greater importance; only that it is of importance. I would find it very troubling if we were to find ourselves guilty of some tragic error in judgment that was the result of an insufficient amount of information. Should this be possible in the “information age”?

My intention is not to criticize anyone or anything; this is just a simple request for more information. This is a request for important information that we as a people require to make safe and informed decisions; important information that we deserve, enabling us to participate in the process in good conscience. While my request is directed to the media for this additional information we need, the onus is really on us, the citizens of America, to force a needed change in what’s being served up daily on the cables and satellite dishes, internet connections and radio antennas all across the country. This onus is what compelled me to write this article. We apparently need to alert the media to some of the other topics that are important and necessary. The topic of potential 2004 Vice Presidential candidates is just one of many unasked questions and unexplored topics of great importance.

I am now “participating in the process” by writing this article and future articles. I urge others to jump in and let their opinions and views be known. Let us change the media’s idea of what it is we want, to what we really do want. Start using your email clients and telephones today and urge the media to cover all of the topics that are important. We need to arm ourselves with information and start using our vote to make a difference.

Kurtis D. Reiner
Absolutely No Political Party Affiliation